Ensoulment through Words pt 2

Monday, Feb 16th

Today was a warm day. I spent the day working from 9 to 5 at my job, tending to the register and the hungry wants of people eager to buy food, eager to consume.
I found myself falling into a state of inner frenzy in the first couple hours of working, working out all the plans in my head on how I would acquire wealth.
“Should I work here instead?”
“Should I live in a van, drop the job, and work on my business?”
“Should I pay cheap rent by living in a living room, so I can save more money?”
“Should I move back in with my parents, so I can work on the business?”

And some of them acquired a different flavor, as I progressed throughout the day.
Obviously, such questions stem from a deep rooted belief that I am in a state of lack, of not having enough, of not being full, not being content. I say that most of my fears and beliefs are not quite mine, and have roots not just in my parents, but in my ancestry line. We are who we are through our life experiences and the genes acquired through thousands of years of living.

How much of you is truly you?

As the day progressed, I found myself easing into a state of just Being and feeling the environment around me, and of the people that I served.
I smiled, asked them how they were doing, and bid them a farewell, in an exchange of good natured energy.
Soon, an ecstatic energy welled up from within, and I found myself once more, at the base line of my nobility, of my divinity.
I had stepped back into the role as a Saint once more, oh what a delight!

And yet, this foolish saint had much to learn about the twists and turns of the spiritual path.
It would seem that my desire for monkhood was out of my own selfish tendencies. I have yet to examine it all too deeply, but I was so bent on becoming spiritual to the detriment of my health and to the woman that I truly loved.

My quest for God had cost me.

And I realized today, that my desire are those of the Universe, and that they are not sinful at all.

The life a householder began to sound more appealing to me as I progressed throughout the workday, contemplating what it would be like to start a family, to spend the rest of my life with someone I held dear to my life, working a decent 9 to 5 job while working on my business, meditating, and engaging in beautiful activities and adventures.

And sure, there is a time for studying scripture, and going off into the wild to meditate deeply, but there must be a foundation for all of this.
And what is that foundation, but the stability that Being has to offer?
Realizing that wherever one is, he is there, and it will all be okay.
That he is there for a reason, and that the experience he is acquiring will make him all the wiser and more suited to carrying out the Will of the Lord?

And so I sit, cross legged in a living room that is dimly lit by a standing lamp, typing this up on my red laptop.
And I ponder upon the nature of the Mystery, and yearn to truly step into my life’s purpose, to delve into the joy and endless ecstasy of Truth.
Soon the Light is to shine through fully, and the Light shall be Good and Righteous!

Abundance, happiness, peace, creativity, service, it is all at hand.
It is already here.

All of the blessed Fruits of God’s Tree are ready to be plucked at any given time.
But first, one must have Faith, and they must be Willing enough to reach out their hands towards them.

Surrender to Truth, and follow the Quiet Voice that lies inside of you.


Ensoulment through Words

Sunday, Feb 15th
Upon realizing that the gating channel of our bodies filter out so much information, I stood up from my seat, and went out for a walk around the block.
When was the last time I had truly felt all that was around me?
When was the last time my heart was full of innocence and wonder?
As I breathed deeply into my abdomen, I became more and more relaxed.
With each passing breath, I realized that I was Divine, and a holy Son of God.
Walking down the street, I began to feel the sun falling upon my face, the passing of the cars, and the people who sat down on a bench waiting for their bus ride.
I wondered how many people had lost touch with the feeling part of their souls, and were subjected to ignorance and suffering.
A lady passed by me on the street, wearing blue running shoes, and a bright yellow sweatshirt. She smiled at me, and said “hello”, and I greeted her back with a “hi” in a quiet voice.

I turned around to look at her as she walked away. Her complexion was fair, her hair blonde and long tied in a pony tail, and her face exuded vibrancy and joy.
For a brief moment in time, we had come across each other only to part ways.
Who knows who she was. Maybe she was someone I knew in a past life.

I walked across the park, observing the trees all around me, taking in their sentience, waking up to the intelligence of the world around me. Nature is indeed alive and wise. I spread out my arms, and embraced the warmth of the sun, as I chanted the holy names of the Lord. Soon, my mind fell into stillness, and my spirit merged with the heat of the light, until all that was left of me was the warmth of Truth and Silence.


Divine Poetry: The Words of a Holy Muse

I Grieve for I am far from my Home, Lord

Though you are here with me, I still grieve

For my heart dwells in darkness,

and my nous is not clear.

The pain is unfathomable!

Suffering everywhere; this plane is truly illusion

Though there is beauty, there is much ugliness too

Though there is Light, the Dark Night is Heavy

The road to Gnosis is being tread on once more

Lord, when will I see thy countenance again?

You have blessed me beyond all measure,

yet here I am, wailing in despair.

Attachments to the world injure the soul.

Release me from my bondage,

and make me into Your Avatar.

I offer my life up to you,

so that the Christ may enter in me forever,

Thy Light once lit, can not be snuffed out,

for thy Light is Divine.

Thy Commandments I uphold righteously

Soon the Messiah is to return…

Soon, all shall be liberated.

Thy Dark Night is soon upon me.


Simply Being on the Path

There is no need to do anything

except simply Being, not worrying

releasing all desires, attachments, and fear.

This reality is fading away,as I tred further down the Path.

Nothing quite makes sense,

yet i am still here in this Illusion.

We are all One, yet distinct and uniqe.

The sun greets me, and I say hello.

Soon I will die, on my quest to find the Will.

I hope it does not fail me.

May my faith in God be absolute.

May his Mercy be Kind

and may I be protected.

War, money, death, anguish

O’ Padma, how wise you are to speak of all these falsities.

The Holy Theurgy shall be our Salvation.

The Path to Godhood, leading into

sorrow and madness,

Ultimately ending in Truth,

and Supreme Peace.