So a spark of inspiration became lit inside of me, and compelled me to get out of the depressing unproductive moping despairing stupor that I’d fallen into for perhaps, about an hour in my room, while listening to a youtube compilation of beautiful piano music by jorge mendez, and to start writing what was on my mind. The thing is that, there is much on my mind.
I am realizing that I think an awful lot, and get lost in these thoughts that wonder throughout my head. These thoughts are so elaborate and connect from one dot to the other, and it makes me wonder if I have gone insane. I probably have. Or perhaps I was always insane, and am just starting to realize it.
And what does it mean to be insane? What does it mean to even be normal? Would this not be a discussion of philosophy, and on the nature of the mind, on illness, on health, and countless other subjects that intertwine with each other?
What do I love to do?
I do not know, but if I say that, then does it become true? Certainly not, for if I now say that I am a 12 foot tall man from Nigeria, that would not be the truth for I am not a 12 foot tall man from Nigeria. So then how do I arrive at the truth?
What is truth?
Do you see this perplexing problem that I have now come across, and perhaps has already been solved by the greatest philosophers of the past? Oh, those venerable and ancient sages who unlocked the secrets of the universe and have left their legacy on mankind. And though they have not been able to save all of humanity forever, they have left their mark on history.
What does it mean to be a savior? To be a hero, a boddhisattva, a messiah?
At times, I wonder, such thoughts trouble me deeply.
Humanity is headed in an interseting direction. There are so many forces at play here, both material and spiritual, and this plane is soon headed for disaster. That is the feeling in the air, for one must look at the political arena of this globe, and realize that trouble is brewing. This is nothing new, no, for there has always been trouble all throughout history. But on a global scale? This is something that has yet to happen, and marks an interesting era in history.
Creating and destroying.
What does it take to be great, to leave one’s mark on history?
The greatest men ever…were they not destroyers and creators?
Men, both evil and good…
Hitler, Stalin, Mao, Alexander, Genghis, did they not destroy in order to conquer?
Jesus, Krishna, Mohammed, Buddha, Gandhi, did they not destroy ignorance, and create hope, faith, and love for people?
So a man ought to create and destroy, following in the footsteps of these great men.
The problem is that men seldom create in this american culture of ours, because we are so consumer based. It is all about me, me, me, me, and we take take take and take. We eat this, consume this show, drink this beverage, never questioning why we do the things we do, and never bothering to make things better for our fellow man.
And to make things better for our fellow man is no such easy task, because that requires a keen mind to discern if things are bad and how it can be remedied.
It is a responsibility for those who are lucky enough to have the purpose to bear it.
Where there is suffering and ignorance, then it could be said, that there is a problem that requires bettering and solving; perfecting, the creation of a utopia, just like the republic written by Plato; blessed is his Holy name.
Alas, I am creating. And what comes out of my mind onto these pages for all to see may not be the most beautiful of all arts, but needless to say, I am creating.
Perhaps, I am even educating, informing..but I am certainly now producing, and sharing.
That alone is the greatest reward, for no longer have I become a parasite to humanity. Instead, I am now able to give instead of take.
And even now, what I give is not really of my own, because I am merely the conduit for the force that works behind and through me, and that is the Universe, O Hail his Most Holy Name.
With this sliver of my Self, given to you, I must say, that I feel somewhat accomplished, but better yet, content. Content with the fact that I have created a piece of writing, and destroyed the falsity within my own mind that which was…doubt. The doubt that was so full of lies and untruths, clouding the joy that lay within me.
But to say I am joyful now, would not be the truth. Perhaps I have much more to write, before I am able to come to a place where I am able to be truly content…and at peace.
For those who smile, might not have peace.
And those who have peace, might not smile.
And those who are successful, might not be spiritual.
And those who are spiritual might not be wealthy.
And those who are strong, might be weak.
And those who are weak, might be strong.
And those who are mad, might be sane.
And those who are sane, just might be mad.
And those who are in God, might be damned.
And those who are damned, might be with God.
And those who know, might be ignorant.
And those who are stupid, might be wise.
And those who think often, accomplish much.
And those who do much, do not think.
And those who know God, they Know
But the question is, how do you know you know?